dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
