he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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