ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
