Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
