On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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