Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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