meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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