i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
