watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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