Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
