Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
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So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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