Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
