4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
