can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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