hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
