Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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