i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i want to swaddle you in tequila
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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