Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
