Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize