Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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