well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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