Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
