Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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