I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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