If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize