my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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