if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
