if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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