I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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