What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
