Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Come share oat with me in your robe
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
