i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
