Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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