I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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