WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
