Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
