Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
