Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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