I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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