Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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