gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
