I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
