Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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