he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
