i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
