I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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