im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
