that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have tasted many bathrooms
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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