left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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