i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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