Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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