Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Randomize
