Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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