The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
