the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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