We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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