Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
