im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
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Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
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she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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