i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
