I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
