what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
