dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
