You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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