There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
